Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
