Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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