i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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