whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize