so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
