I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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