ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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