I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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