Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
