All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish I only lived at night.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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