Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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