He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
