i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
