if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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