it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
