Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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