Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
