He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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