i permit you to call me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
