Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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