its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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