Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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