please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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