Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You are a genius and a whore.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
