in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
