Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
