i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You can't special order awesome
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
