I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize