i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize