I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i need some magic done to my vagina
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
