Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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