She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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