tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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