Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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