new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
