its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize