Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
