I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
