my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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