Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
