on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
