I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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