thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
