dude i'm inner monologue high
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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