We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize