you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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