Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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