i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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