things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
