Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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