roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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