Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
