I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
