Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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