He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
