woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
