i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
