Your mouth is God's brothel.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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