thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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